Flaw appeal is the new sex appeal

A recent conversation with a very close friend of mine started with "he broke up with me because I couldn't meet his expectations physically."
Yes, my friends this is what we have come down to.
"If I asked you to name the things you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?" This got me thinking and maybe will get you too.
We have engrossed ourselves into the materialistic world to an extent that we forgotten who we are. We are busy trying to be someone else or prove something that we don't have to. You don't have to wear stilettos if it hurts your feet. Your friends may fall in the '5-6 feet' category and you might be ashamed of walking  next to them but that's not a good enough reason to hurt yourself. You don't have to feel insecure about your body just because your boyfriend checks out other girls in shorts in the mall.
Hey, the guy with the cute face, don't be upset about being skinny. It's your will power and determination that we care about not your bone density!
#pretty#love#perfect#best do we really mean any of that? There are times when we think we have figured it all out about somebody else, but have we really? Do you know that the rich girl who comes to college in a BMW goes through physical abuse everyday, but hides it behind her 15 dollar concealer? The skinny girl who fits into any dress always wishes she could try the 'M' size instead of the 'XS'. The "fat" guy who used to survive on KFC and Dominos now makes excuses to skip parties so that people wouldn't make fun of him. The girl you call a "Flatscreen" goes to bed crying because she can't fit into the "ideal body" list?  And you thought you had them figured?
Putting your opinion on someone is easy. Extremely easy. It's good to know that you think you're perfect, but sorry to burst the bubble you're not even close. We have no right to judge people based on their looks, figure, complexion, English speaking skills or anything even remotely close to hurting somebody's feelings. Because as easy as it is to say "look she's so fat" that line will stick to her heart  and mind everyday while she's eating, sleeping or hanging out with "thin" people. If you don't have flaws externally, trust me there's something worst you have internally that no make up, gym or surgery can remove.

Now,
For those who think they are not good enough for someone:
Please don't lose yourself in the process of trying to be someone else. You do not have to change yourself for people who are not gonna stay. Everybody has flaws and that's where the beauty lies. Love yourself without delay. Love that scar you have, or those skinny hands. Love that dusky complexion that makes you way prettier, love the simplicity which makes you happy. Don't let any certain person dictate your life and change you. Don't let someone kill your innocence. He doesn't like the way you chew your food, walk, talk or dress up? Let him go. Because, if you don't,you will always keep thinking you're not good enough for him and it will slowly kill your inner happiness. The person who loves you will love you even if you have a giant pimple on your face, or if you're in your pajamas and have hairy legs. Yes, he will tell you he doesn't like it but that's all its gonna be.
You're good enough for everything if you want to do it. Don't hide yourself behind facebook shares and instagram posts. Don't try to be stoic because that's the new "cool". Don't try to hurt others on purpose because you want to keep them away. Don't do things that do not justify your nobility.

Aren't you scared of looking into the mirror one day and not finding yourself in it?

The balance of LIFE

‘Gender equality’, this used to be the most common topic on which we were being asked to write articles, back in school. ’Is the government doing enough to promote gender equality’, this is another topic which is commonly used for holding debates. Time and again, people have raised their voices and condemned the atrocities against woman, rightly so. But does this imply that men have always led an easy life or have we chosen to oversee the difficulties faced by men. If we take a beam balance and put ‘hardships faced by men’ and ‘hardships faced by women’ on either side, it is obvious that the pointer will slightly tilt towards the pan carrying ‘hardships faced by women’ but the weight on the other side cannot be neglected either.
Female foeticides, rapes, women empowerment, equal rights, these have been subjects of paramount importance for a long time. Unfortunately we have some hypocrites in our society carrying stereotypical thoughts, according to which if a girl is wearing short clothes or ‘showing off her skin’, she is actually inciting a man to rape her, if her bra strip is visible, she gets the tag of being a slut but funnily guys in superman boxers are called "kinda cool".
Even today, in the interior parts of the country, we hear cases about female foeticides. I mean what has that girl child done to you? You didn’t even allow her to have a glimpse of this beautiful world. On a pragmatic note, you would not have been born  if your grandparents would have done the same mistake. This is not the end, if circumstances fail them and the girl child is somehow born, they would accuse the mother for ‘committing the crime’ throughout her lifetime unaware of the fact that it is the Y chromosome coming from father that decides the sex of a child. Now women are even deprived of their right to pray. This is the actual scenario hovering our society. Women have always been the pride of our nation and we must respect them. The Rio Olympics is an epitome example. The heroic display of the ‘daughters of our country’ has brought glory to our nation. Thank God, they were in the Indian contingent!

Now let’s move to the other side of the wall. ‘Beta baap ka naam roshan karega’, if you’re an Indian you will surely here this. It is expected that a boy will carry the name of his family, take up father’s occupation, sometimes may not but will eventually make everyone proud. Sadly, men are assumed to be heartless and stoic. A crying girl draws attention to the world, but a boy shedding tears makes him repulsive to the rest. Men are born with the responsibility of "ghar basana". (Excuse my hindi please).He must ensure the safety of his family and earn enough money such that he is able to feed his family at least three times a day. If he fails to do so he will be termed as a ‘loser’. He has to be a good father, a good husband and a great son. He has to find "the perfect women" and sometimes when they do, they still don't end up together because "rishtedaar nai maane". Imagine the headache, they go through. These are not hardships but expectations or baggage that a man has to carry. The real plight of a common man can be felt from the following instance: A friend of mine was travelling in a cab in Delhi. The driver was narrating an incidence with a glum look on his face. One evening three girls were travelling on his cab. They asked him to increase the volume of the speaker and started smoking. After sometime the driver asked them to stop smoking or else he will be fined by the police for violating the rules and regulations. They didn’t listen to him, asked him to do his job and also abused him by using derogatory words. He thought of seeking help from the police before it’s too late. He parked his car near a policeman, but before he could get out of his car the girls jumped out of the car and told the police that ‘bhaiya ye humare sath battameese kar raha tha’. The policeman thought he was clever enough and he didn’t hesitate to slap the driver. Although later the policeman realized that the girls were indeed smoking and he even warned them. But it was already too late the innocent driver was humiliated. From this incident we cannot have a generalized notion that ‘all girls are ill mannered’ but it indicates that people are serious about the safety of women. A certain section of girls or women who call themselves as feminists fail to understand the actual meaning of ‘feminism’ and  try to take advantages of their rights in the wrong way.
Well this is not a debate to prove that if it is man or woman who face experience more hardships in life. But it is a realization that there is no ‘fairer sex’.  If we want to achieve gender equality and foster development both the sexes must respect each other, acting as opportunists or exploiting our rights will not help in any way.
Moreover, once in a while it's okay to appreciate each others efforts. It's okay to thank each other or say sorry even when you're not wrong, you know, just for that smile on their face. Being a man, doesn't necessarily mean you're always right. A day without your lady will drive you crazy. Well, it's not easy being on either side. It's not easy to earn money or take responsibility of the entire household. So if someone is doing that to bring a smile on your face, appreciate. Say thank you. Say the food was good even if it was plain.
And then, sneak out to the nearest dhaba and enjoy a tandoori chicken.

For the love of DOG.

"When I needed a hand, I found your paw."

He doesn't hate nor discriminate. He doesn't care about money nor does he hold grudges. You might forget to fill his water bowl or leave him alone for the day, but he will still come running to the door, wagging his tail when he hears you park the car.
True love for others is finding someone they could go out on dates with, or buy red roses for. Well, for me true love has a fur, four legs, a wet nose and a heart filled with unconditional love.
What did we ever do to deserve them? 
When you're sad or upset with something, you want somebody by your side. Well unlike human beings, there is an adorable creature who happens to be more sensible and sensitive than us. He would come running to you, sit next to you and then put his head on your lap trying to console you by telling that ' you might be wrong but I am always going to be on your side'. We don't regard it as an animal but we consider it to be the most wonderful gift that God has given us. The least we can do is treat him as a part of our family because that little creature would usher his unconditional love on us and would gleefully add colours to our lives.
They teach us to love, and to rejoice the simple beauty found every day, to laugh through the thunderstorms and guide though the path we crave.
They are our therapists and our most loyal friends and without them humanity would have long come to an end. I look into the eyes of a dog and I see them begging for nothing but love. A dog is the only thing in the world that will love you more than you love yourself.
Lucky are those who come home to a wagging tail. Yeah, sure you have to move your dog to get the best seat in the house, or sleep on the couch because he wouldn't move from the bed but doesn't that give you happiness? They could turn a dull walk to a race, or your house to a mess, they could turn tears to laughs and fights to love. These magical creatures can do anything for your smile. They are the role model for being alive. It's like, they can feel your soul and talk to it. From the day they are tiny puppies, pooping and peeing all around the house to the day they grow old enough to protect you, not a day passes by when their love for you changes. They are not our whole life, they make our lives whole.
"Thorns may hurt you, men desert you, sunlight turn to fog;
but you’re never friendless ever, if you have a dog."

Let her smile..

"It will be okay."
"You will get over him eventually."
"This is just a phase of life." "It's not possible to love someone forever, specially when he doesn't reciprocate."
"It's immature and stupid."
"Keep yourself distracted. Pick a hobby, have some chocolates, get some sleep."
Sound similar doesn't it?
Well, my question here is, what if she doesn't want to move on right away? What if she wants to live with those handful of memories they shared, the few pictures they took, those songs that associate with them, the footprints of those magical walks that she would be waiting for, those strong connections she felt they both had.
Let go?

"To wait for someone is hard, to forget someone is harder..but the toughest part is when you don't know which one to do."

Love is the strongest emotion one could feel. Its powerful and brutal at the same time. But, its the best that could have happened to her. She would write about him, talk about him to her best-friend, smile when thoughts about him would come up every now and then and it would altogether make her blush. Her mother would cook her favorite meal to cheer her up, but that smile was nothing as compared to the one that he would bring on her face. She never thought about the rough days they had, or the tiny fights because she could never think of anything unhappy about him being in her life.

They wanted her to invest time on somebody else, but she couldn't. She couldn't ruin somebody else's life with a lie. She wanted to wait till the end. Because she was sure this wasn't the end. Well, it's never the end until you want it to.
When she's fine being stuck with something that's clearly never gonna be hers, forcing it down her heart won't really help. Constantly telling her that its ruining her, or finding out flaws in him won't help either. She's in a zone where she's hurt, upset and fragile but she's standing on a bed of memories, the ONLY thing that could make her smile.

Right now, the pain, the anguish, the sinking feeling – it’s all palpable. You can't force your feelings on somebody. You can just wait for them to see your efforts. Give her some time to heal, give her some time to smile on her own because deep inside she knows the damage she has done to herself. Let her take immature decisions for now. Maybe, one day she'll realise that's its all gone forever. That day might be near or might be later but that's upto her. Till then, let her sink, because she's her own lifeguard.

Kiss OR speak?

King Solomon said, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”

We are shaping somebody's reality by just using the right words for them. Words are the sharpest weapon of mankind. How we use them is up to us. While some could heal broken hearts, some could force someone to give up on life.
The power is mostly in our mouths. I feel, its not just good thoughts or deeds that makes us a good human being. Its basically the words we use that matters, that helps to develop people.
The right words at the right time might inspire someone to live a little, laugh a little or put in a little more effort. Yes, there are definitely times when our ego or temper seems to take over our mind and heart, and that is the time when we have to be extra careful while choosing our words. We must taste the words we use before we spit them out. Don't let something as silly as misunderstandings, a rough day at work, or a hot headed boss be a reason that you throw out words which might end up hurting the people who you never intend to. I mean, what's the whole point anyways? Likewise, when someone feels a major setback in their lives, (let's face it, we all have), nobody likes being told what they shouldn't have done. That makes it just worst.

Now, for the bigger debate. Unspoken words. Words left unsaid could be hurtful. I mean, would it hurt you to say something good once in a while? How hard could it be to say, you look nice or the food was good? Appreciation is always a warm gesture if you want to win someone. An encouraging word wouldn't kill you. A lot of relationships end because people don't like to talk things out. Distance is never a problem, but silence is. This generation assumes and ends. There's no in between. Everything starts with a #truelove and ends with updating "Single" on facebook. Nobody bothers to pick up the phone and talk. 

You have the strongest weapon that could bring the most powerful feeling in someone. Words and happiness.
So, pick up any sword you want, but think twice before choosing your pen.